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Dolly’s Obituary

I’d like to ask for a moment of silence to remember Dolly the Sauropod.

She was a good, kind dinosaur. The best that southwest Montana had to offer.

She wouldn’t have hurt a fly if flies had existed back then.

She was strictly a vegetarian. In fact, a true vegan.

She was still an adolescent and died of something like the flu (though not Covid), or maybe it was fungus. Didn’t have much in the way of a doctor 150 million years ago.

It’s just not fair. She ate right. She exercised. Everyone liked her. No one made fun of her weighing over 4 tons, and she never let it slow her down.

Though the virus did. In the end, she just couldn’t keep up with the herd.

And now she’s dead.

Actually, all of her friends are dead too.

It’s sad.

Woodruff et al. s. called her MOR 7029 in their version of a eulogy for her and said she was “immature,” but to me, she’ll always be kindly Dolly.

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Written by Russell Brand

Russell has started three successful companies, one of which helped agencies of the federal government become very early adopters of open source software, long before that term was coined. His first project saved The American taxpayer 250 million dollars. In his work within federal agency, he was often called, “the arbiter of truth,” facilitating historically hostile groups and factions to effectively work together towards common goals

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