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It’s poison, but I’ve already paid for it

A case of unloved chocolate

I have a lot of stevia-sweetened chocolate.

Unfortunately, it also has erythritol in it. I had never read the fine print closely enough to notice. It’s simply advertised as stevia-sweetened, and I am a lazy trusting fool.

I’ve never been comfortable with erythritol, and after Witkowski’s article in Nature Medicine, I have shifted from uncomfortable to scared sh*tless.

So, what do I do with it?

I’m certainly not going to eat it.

And letting chocolate go to waste is a cardinal sin, for chocolate is the sacrament that purifies us from all of our sins (starting with gluttony.)

I don’t feel comfortable casually poisoning friends.

But maybe I should feel fine about giving it to those friends who are continuing to buy it despite the known risks (?)

Dear Friend,

I have a case of hazardous, potentially deadly chocolate. I think you continue to buy and eat it. Can I either talk you out of ever having it again or, failing that unload my stash on you?

Sincerely (but worried about ending up in the netherworlds for all eternity if I give the chocolate to you),

// Me

In case they all suddenly become sensible, do you want to be my new friend?


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Written by Russell Brand

Russell has started three successful companies, one of which helped agencies of the federal government become very early adopters of open source software, long before that term was coined. His first project saved The American taxpayer 250 million dollars. In his work within federal agency, he was often called, “the arbiter of truth,” facilitating historically hostile groups and factions to effectively work together towards common goals

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