Lesson one didn't have a section on humility on understatement.
It said to have pride, be bigger than life and cast a huge shadow. (I've been told that I often bring with me a huge shadow, so I only have to work on the other two of the three.)
Lesson one said that I needed to share my backstory about how
Part 1: I had given up all hope and had fallen into a deep, perhaps suicidal, depression
Part 2: An even more terrible event happen to me
Part 3: But instead of crushing me, I drew from it a key insight
Part 4: And rallied into the success that I am now.
I've never shared this story before. It's a little embarrassing.
My nemesis asteroid meteorite protection business had failed. My fellow dinosaurs were dying left and right. Some from impacts. Other freezing and starving to death. It was terrible. It was terrifying. It was awful. I felt awful. Everything was awful.
The only thing that had protected me was my top hat. I had a warehouse (actually it was a cave) filled with them, but no one wanted to buy them. I was feeling crushed, but then, then, I realized that eventually, a new civilization would arise. A civilization with pandemics and meetings and worst of all video-conferencing. A civilization that would need hats.
The only thing that had protected me was my top hat.
I repurposed my nemesis asteroid meteorite protection hats into (much smaller physically) video-conferencing hats and patiently waited. Waited literally millennia after millennia. And ultimately became the successful business leader that I am today; successfully leading success.
And I can successfully teach you how to become a successful success by successfully teaching you the secret of success. In mere millennia you too can become a successful success.
In the meantime, while I go on to read lesson two, would you like a hat?