Dear your name would go here if I was bothering to use mail merge software,
I recently received a form letter from you. Perhaps many. If I cared, I’d use software that kept track of how many I have already deleted from you.
Your form letter seems to have been poorly targeted and poorly executed and has damaged your reputation with me and probably many others.
If you’d like help creating an outreach program that would not be much worth than nothing, rather than just less than nothing, please let me know and I will introduce you to someone appropriate.
If I receive another form letter from you, I will be entitled to add your name to the wall of shame.
Especially if you send it before midnight tonight.