During the pandemic, I've started wearing a top hat to video conferences.
It is not just an ordinary hat, it is a high-tech magic hat.
It is my hat of invisibility, when I wear it USB cameras can see me, but mere mortals cannot.
In this manner people (including small children) and pets (including stuffed animals) don't know that I am there and don't interrupt me.
The problem comes in when I forget to take the hat off and go to the sofa in the family room to watch videos — no one can see me, so they sit on top of me and squish me.
And they are worried that I will forget and still be wearing it on my morning run — then the cars might squish me.
So they are going to tether my hat to the ceiling as a way to keep me safe.